I met Carol when I worked as a CRNA in Georgetown, Texas. Although Carol and I don't share all my as she calls "crazy" adventures (speaking of running, triathlon, etc) we bonded almost instantly. In a world where you can't trust people and even so-called "friends" are dishonest, will stab you in the back or throw you under the bus to save themselves or make themselves look better Carol and I became fast friends and knew that we'd have each others backs no matter what. Although I moved from Texas over 5 years ago now we've always stayed in touch.
I was only in the same town as Carol and Bryon for a few years we had some good times. Bryon was 6'5" tall, long arms, long legs. He was sooo funny! He always had a smile on his face and made you feel welcome. I put a link to his Obituary so you can read it. It will give you a sense of the guy he was.
I feel lucky that I just happened to have vacation scheduled at this time to be able to spend with Carol. As soon as I could I was on a flight here. I made so many observations about people these last few days. First of all, the funeral home was great! It was a comfortable place where when you walked in you felt you were at someones home. Never been to a funeral home like that! The staff were really great and took care of everything we asked for. The pastor who did not know Bryon or the family was amazing. I was very impressed at his compassion and professionalism. Thank you Pastor Ellis.
Sadly, one thing I learned is family doesn't always act like family. I'll leave out specifics here because I'm a little angry and may say some things I'd regret. Adults and kids....if you have crappy parents it's not your fault! Some people are just shitty and unfortunately they sometimes breed. Some people are just selfish and will never be able to see past themselves and their own needs. It's very unfortunate. I think the important thing for all of us to learn from people like that is that you don't want to be that way. We ALL have people like this in our families or lives somewhere. Just because you were brought up that way doesn't mean you have to continue the behavior. Your perspective is everything. I recently read something that said there were 2 sons and their father was an alcoholic. One became and alcoholic and said he was like that because he watched his father. The other became successful and not an alcoholic and he said he did this because he watched his father. Perspective is everything! Don't continue negative trends.
The other thing that was driven home to me is the difference between the funeral of a Christian and a non Christian. I have seen many people die in my career and been to some funerals in my time. In my experience there is a distinct difference between funerals/deaths involving someone who is a believer in Christ and someone who is not. While both are sad times because friends and family are losing a loved one, those that are Christians can also celebrate in the hope that they will one day be reunited with their loved one. I noticed this is the way the dying patients acted too when I worked in ICU. Not ALL, but most of the Christians that were dying and aware they were were just more at ease and seemed less anxious that those who who were not "saved". For those of you not familiar someone who is "saved" is someone who believes in and has accepted Jesus Christ as their savior. I think those of us who have live with a different purpose. In my personal opinion I think we just have a comfort and a more eternal purpose and peace. Just my opinion.
I have been to funerals for non-believers as well. I must say it was one of the saddest and most heart breaking things I've been to. There was ONLY sadness. There was such a finality to it. This was it! Friends Spouses and children had lost their loved one and that was it. No hope of being reunited or them being in the glory of our creator.
Why have I chosen to write about this? It has come to me several times before, but I felt compelled finally to put it down. I completely understand people who have issues with the church, any church. Name your religion! I get angry thinking what we have done as humans to distort God and Jesus so that it fits our needs. Who decided which writings went into the bible that we currently use??? MAN! I do believe there is a lot of good in there, but who knows how it's been altered. I think that you just have to have a personal relationship with Jesus and let him guide your actions. I try to do this in my dealings with things and people. Do I make mistakes? Often. Do I do things that some Christians view as sin? Sure. I just try to love people where they are. We all sin and fall short of the glory of God right? Who am I as a sinner to judge others? Do I judge others? Sometimes for sure. Human nature is human nature and I think we all have to just do the honest best that we can with eternity in mind.
This whole thing may be a little deep for some of you. I do hope that it makes you think. I'm very science based, but I also do have faith. I think it makes for a good balance and that you can have both in your life. I think if we had more of a combination that our world would be a better place. I do not believe that intelligence and faith have to be independent of each other. I say question your life, religion, teachers, bosses, etc. If your religion does not allow for questions then you're in the wrong one! Examples are Islam, Scientology, and Mormonism
To those that say religion is a waste of time...If you are right and all we have is this short time on earth then I've tried to live a good life and impact people in a positive way for nothing, I'm worm food. If Christians are right then the non-believer has lost everything. Eternity is a pretty long time. Just my opinion though. I have been to too many places and witnessed too many miracles of nature to believe that all the beauty of our earth just sprouted with no help and that the complication of the human body is evolved from some simple being.
For those of you that question look things up. You don't have to be a church member for salvation. God is so much bigger than that. All you have to do is ask. You don't need someone to mediate between you and your savior. Simply ask for Christ to come into your life and forgive you for your sins...pretty simple huh? Look up the salvation prayer. To those of you that think your particular religion is the "only" right way..wake up! You can't put the creator of the universe in a man-made box! My usual reply to those folks are you know Jesus wasn't Catholic, Baptist, Lutheran, etc.
Alright, all that was just on my mind. Hope I made some folks at least think. If not about eternity, about your affairs. Are they in order? Do you have a will and a living will? Most importantly does your family know what you want? I know for one that I need to get a few things in line.
I have here the link to Bryon's Obituary. My friend Carol wrote it herself. It's really great and I hope that you will give it a read. He was a young guy full of life who fought a tough battle till the end. While those of us who he left behind hate to be here without him, we can rejoice in knowing that we will get to hang out with him again one day. After everything else I wrote above, now you'll know what that means. :)
RIP Bryon Williams
Obituary
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