It's been forever and I have had so many random thoughts swirling I'll try to get some of them out.
Why am I writing right now? Yes, you guessed it because I am hurt AGAIN and unable to do the things I enjoy doing. Being sedentary and me don't jive. I write and think way too much. As some of you know I'm preparing for Xterra worlds in Maui. For a while I've been swimming, biking and running pain free. It's been so enjoyable. I woke up yesterday after a long weekend of work, had some coffee and some puppy snuggles and was going to go for a nice mountain run. I mean the mountains were calling to me. Bring blue skies, beautiful fall colors...breathtaking. I was putting on my running tights, as it's getting a little cool out. I got them to my knees and stood up for some reason and my back just grabbed. Right in my lower back like a burning pulse. It took me to my knees and then to my back (yes, pants 1/2 way down). I'm grimacing in pain and the dogs proceed to lick me in the face. For a second being the positive thinker I am (or in denial) I think ok, maybe this is no biggie I can still run. I struggle to put my pants on while on the floor and barely make it to crawl into the bed in a fetal position. Ugh, reality set in. So thankful for my amazing friend who is my physical therapist. I already had an appointment the next day, but I called her and she told me what to do in the mean time. I also texted my coach a bunch of f-bombs (thanks beaker for listening) in frustration. They both made me feel as good as I could at that moment. So, that's where I am right now. Stuck trying to walk and do things to get back to normal. So it means a lot of sitting time for me. I don't like it but it does allow me to get some things done that I don't normally take the time to do.
My most recent trip was AANA Annual congress in Seattle. For those that don't know it's the American Association of Nurse Anesthetists. I was really looking forward to this not only because it's a great meeting, but I get to see some old friends and my best friend from Texas Carol was also going to meet me there. The best thing was being with Carol and getting to hang out and visit. She's really like a sister to me and I so enjoy her company. On a few evenings we were beat from conference and walking around the city so we just ordered room service and sat in bed and watched TV and talked. It may sound lame to some, but it was really awesome. So the conference and spending time with a good friend were the good part. There was a down side though. Maybe I've just gotten so used to the glory of Alaska and I don't like looking up and only being able to see big buildings. I like walking into the woods I guess. This time Seattle was quite depressing in a way. You walk around and are passing by, standing next to and seeing hundreds if not thousands of people. Almost everyone has a head set in their ears and is on their phone. There is almost no social interaction. I am by far not a social person with those I don't know, but I did just decide to talk to a few people. I must say everyone I did engage was very friendly. It's like they were pleasantly surprised that someone spoke to them. Why don't we talk to people anymore? It was sad to see how many drug addicted and mentally ill were roaming the streets. Don't judge....I've been in healthcare long enough I know addicts and the mentally Ill when I see them. It's sad. Carol and I talked about it and as much as we enjoyed visiting with each other we were both ready to get back home and out of the city.
Another thing I really got caught up in working on is anesthesia advocacy for the people of Alaska. I think since I became a CRNA I've been passionate about informing the public of the truth. I've been to Juneau here in Alaska and to Washington D. C. on a few occasions to educate our congress and senators on things happening in our state and nation. If the American people knew the fraud that is perpertrated on them because of anesthesia it would make them sick I think we Americans are getting wiser though. We are not blindly believing what people say simply because they are doctors. It simply amazes me how many facts by proclimation physicians and physician groups can make and I have actual facts and research and have to constantly defend my great and noble profession. If anyone wants to know more about this please feel free to contact me and I'll educate you!
Last thing for today! I am so sick of this culture of the fake, phony and entitled! Let's start with the entitled. So sick of everyone thinking they should just be given everything. Our society has somehow created people who think they don't have to EARN anything. We've all grown up right? Do you all not remember being bullied, being discriminated against for one reason or another? I do! I was bullied my whole childhood because I was a tomboy. I was good at sports, better then most of the boys and that was just not cool when I was growing up. Now it's cool to be a chick in sports! I think that's great and I'd like to think people like me who persevered paved the way to the future. Kids are bullied for all sorts of reasons now a days and I truly think the difference between then and now is parents. My parents were always there to talk to me about what was going on and to support me and say that I was special and that kids were just mean. It's true! Kids are just mean and adults too for that matter. We all know those people. The miserable people who aren't happy until you are as miserable as they are. If you don't recognize and have to deal with bullies as a child how are you supposed to deal with them as an adult? Parents need to be there to guide children though these things. Some parents now are so concerned with themselves and their image that they don't take time for all this with their kids. Let's face it...you don't really need to make all this money and have all this stuff. It's all about trying to portray this image instead of raising your kids to be good people...or just being a good person yourself. You don't need a certain car, or house, or clothes for the most part. Live within what you can afford and you're a lot less stressed and happier. Why are you trying to keep up an image for others? Figure out who you are and be just that! We all find this at different times and some never do. Those are the folks that are always trying to please others to be liked instead of being true to themselves. My friend reminded me especially for those that consider themselves Christians, Romans 12:2. Be not conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind..... BE NOT CONFORMED TO THIS WORLD!!!!! For those that are Christians and are working to try to impress others or have x or y...really? Hypocrites! This is why non Christians hate us and don't want to even listen to the message of Christ because they see this and don't want any part of this. Plus all those people you are trying to impress...not real friends! I have only a few real friends in this world and they know I would do anything for them and I know they'd do anything for me. That's friendship. Whether you have fancy clothes or parties or you are living in a trailer...those are real friends.
For the love of sweet baby Jesus quit telling your kids all the reasons they are not succeeding like racism, sexism, etc. They'll get enough of this if it is reality. You don't need to plant these things in their heads from the beginning so they turn into little ass hats that think the whole world is against them for the color of their skin, their sex, sexual orientation, etc. You are only giving them a reason to hate others. For the most part if you don't act like a freak or entitled little shit people are pretty fair. Does racism, discrimination and all these other things exist? Of course! They always will and no matter what we do there will always be people who hate people just because. I grew up and heard some very racist things as a child. As I grew into an adult I decided to think for myself! I now cherish having friends and family members of all races, religions, sexual orientations and those who just plain believe differently than me. It makes me think. If there is anything I can encourage people to do it's question your beliefs. Question everything. I truly believe this questioning will lead you to realizing that you have to have faith to a certain amount or you'll believe in nothing. That's a whole different conversation though.
I believe that is enough for tonight. End of thoughts. Sorry no pictures. Only thoughts this time!
Still need to do something on Xterra Canmore...maybe this week.
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