DR. WHO?

Don't know if you guessed by the title, but I'm going back to school.  Wait, huh?  Yes, you heard it right.  I thought the same thing.  Over 10 years ago when I finished my masters in nurse anesthesia I said I was never going back.  Here I am again ready to enter student mode again.  What am I thinking? I've had many friends tell me they are not sure if they should tell me congrats or offer condolences.  I just laugh, but the truth is, I think I'm finally ready.  5 years ago there was no way I would have done this.  I had just moved, new job, etc.  I was enjoying my new start and probably still a little too close to the trauma of CRNA school anyway.  I thought...why do I need a doctoral degree?  So many times I said that it wouldn't pay anymore or get me any more respect in my current role.  While that may be true on some level I now believe this degree will help me further my career goals and better serve my patients and the public in general.

In November 2017 I was accepted into the Boise State DNP (doctorate of nursing practice). Boise State  GO Broncos!  (I may be a little obsessed with the smurf turf) For CRNAs coming out of school now a DNP is standard which is good for the profession as a whole.  I started to contemplate this the last couple of years, but no programs really appealed to me.  This particular program was the first to really excite me.  It is focused on leadership, advocacy and policy making.  All of that is right up my alley as I have for several years been heavily involved in advocacy and education of our lawmakers and many others on who CRNAs are, what we do and the services we provide.  Despite us being around for over 150 years, people still don't know about us.  What they do know of CRNAs is usually the lies being propagated by some who stand to profit off the lies.  I know we were once referred to as "the best kept secret in healthcare", and I believe that to be true.   I believe in my profession and look forward to continuing make sure we aren't a secret and that the truth gets out.  The professors in this department have varied backgrounds and I can't wait to draw on some of their real world experience in education, administration and business.

That's it for that announcement.  Thanks for reading.

Caribou hunting in Adak Alaska

Adak is an awesome place with some little known history. It is the westernmost city in the United States and the Southernmost in Alaska.  The city has a resident population of approximately 120 residents, with 40-100 transients or other visitors on island at any given time.  Adak Island is approximately 1200 air miles southwest of Anchorage and is accessible commercially only by air.  It was about a 3 hour flight in the Boeing 737.  Hard to believe with a flight that long you're still in Alaska.  It is after all our nation's biggest state!  I've included a little Adak history for those interested. 

Arrival with our stuff at the airport in anchorage 

Adak airport

Adak History

Adak Island has been the home to Aleut peoples since ancient times. Russian explorers in the 18th century also visited the island but made no permanent settlements. During World War II, the Imperial Japanese Army took control of two of the westernmost Aleutian Islands - Attu and Kiska. The Japanese also attacked the American base at Dutch Harbor by air. The Japanese campaign coincided with the more well-known Battle of Midway. In response, the United States military began a campaign to oust the invaders. Since the nearest U.S. military presence was in Cold Bay, Alaska, the U.S. began to construct bases in the western Aleutian Islands from which to launch operations against the Japanese. Adak Island was chosen as the site of an airfield, and flight operations began in September 1942. On May 11, 1943, four days after the initial invasion date was delayed by bad weather, American soldiers landed on Attu Island and defeated the Japanese garrison there, at the cost of 2,300 Japanese and 550 American lives. Expecting a similar battle for Kiska Island, U.S. soldiers landing there August 15, 1943, found the occupiers had been stealthily evacuated by Japanese naval forces since the end of May, 1943.^[3] Even so, over 313 American soldiers died from friendly fire, mines, and other anti-personnel devices during U.S. operations to recover Kiska into U.S. territory. In 1953, remains of 236 Japanese dead who had been buried in Adak Cemetery were reburied in Japan's Chidorigafuchi National Cemetery.
After the war was over, the approximately 6,000 American military men who served on Adak during World War II recalled Adak's cold, foggy, windy weather; mud; Quonset huts; few women and no trees; and a volcano that from time to time would issue puffs of smoke.^{[citation needed]} Fresh food was a rarity.

Adak Naval Air Station continued to be a military base during the Cold War but was designated a Base Realignment and Closure (BRAC) site in 1995 and closed in March 1997.^[4] Shortly thereafter, the town of Adak was incorporated at the site of the former base. Down from a peak population of 6,000, the island recorded a 2010 census population of 326 residents, all in the city of Adak, in the northern part of the island. In 1980, the Aleutian Islands National Wildlife Refuge was created and much of Adak Island lies within its boundaries.
The Alaska Department of Fish and Game introduced approximately 200 caribou to the island to help prevent emergency famine. The now large caribou herd is a popular hunting destination.^[5]
 (Wikipedia)


We arrived on a typical Adak weather day.  High winds and rain.  Our group was picked up by our gracious local host and brought us to his home.  I can't tell you how nice it is to be able to stay with and get information from a local.  It's the way to go if you can.  Here's a picture of our group in the Adak airport.

L-R Todd, April, Wayne, Mary and Troy

Day 1 we got there and after dropping our gear at the house we took off to spot in the trucks.  We brought rifles along just in case we saw something.  Didn't see a thing that night!  Our host made us a caribou steak for dinner and we hit the sack ready for our hunting adventure the next day. Here are a few pictures from day 1. 

Perfect day for a hike

April Enjoying the view

April & Mary

April & Todd scouting a valley

One of the many waterfalls

the group checking things out in another valley

Wayne surveying the land

A little note about the city.  It was a very post-apocalyptic feel to the town.  No cars on the road, abandoned buildings and homes.  The population went from 6,000 to 100 and things were just left as they were.  I didn't get a picture of the old McDonalds building, but it was definitely a typical McDonalds.  A little surreal.

one of the few streets in Akak with abandoned homes

Day 2 woke up and got going after lunch time really.  Had to get ourselves organized and all that jazz.  The weather was absolutely beautiful.  It was around 40 degrees, sunny and no wind.  Not what we expected at all.  Like I said before a typical day in Adak it's blowing 40 and 40 degrees and raining.  Although no one in our party saw any game that day it was an epic hiking day with b3autiful weather.  Alaska never disappoints! This area was on x trail around mountxxx.

Day 3 we opted for an earlier start to have a full day of hunting.  We took the truck and ATVs out as far as we could and split up from there.  Todd and I hiked one direction, Mary and troy another and Wayne another. We all agreed to meet back up at 5pm.  The weather was still pretty decent with no rain.  The winds were probably sustained around 20 and it was partly cloudy. So not bad at all.  We hiked around for a few hours stopping to spot for animals along the way and just enjoying the scenery.  We decided that even if we didn't get anything on our hunt that the beauty of this place was enough.  We were enjoying the moment.  At one point Todd and I were just moving from the spot we were in and he says what's they way up there.  I get out the binoculars and see a caribou!  It was about 300 yards away up the mountain.  Todd starts heading that way.  I start moving to another location for a different angle on the shot in case he couldn't get it. Todd takes his animal down and as I start walking back to the spot where I left our bag I see 3 caribou running right at me.  I yell for Todd and then I set up to shoot.  The largest is in the front.  I line up on her and take the head shot and she went down.  The other 2 begin running off and Todd shoots another.  I'm thinking great we got 3, but now great we gotta take care of them.

Happy hunting

The guys getting ready to go out

April

Spotting for the boo

I'll pause here to say that this was my first real hunting trip. It was mostly what I expected.   I was unsure if I'd be able to shoot an animal but when the time came there was no hesitation.  It was with gratitude and with the utmost respect for the creature that we took those lives.  We honor the animals by taking all the meat we can and filling our freezer.  We take meticulous care of each piece of meat.  It's really an honor to have harvested one of God's creatures for food.  Very humbling and thought provoking.  I don't believe in hunting for trophys...only to supply meat.  It was a lot of hard work but worth it to know exactly where the meat on my table is coming from and to know you're helping to manage herd size on the island.

We got the animals back to the house and quartered and deboned them.  Only in Alaska do you quarter your animal then throw a tarp over the kitchen table to debone in the house.   A little funny.

The only flight of the week was the next day so we were able to make that flight without a problem and get home.  Hung the meat in the garage to begin cleaning and processing it the next day.  We started processing on Sunday and were done by Wednesday. This is hard work and where a true respect for the animal comes in.  It's a process, but glad to have a few friends come over and help as well.  Here's a picture of the meat hanging in the garage behind Todd as he's working on one piece of meat.

Todd being supervised closely by the dogs

This was an amazing experience and I hope that you will enjoy hearing a little about it.  I look forward to visiting the island again and exploring it's history even more.

Latest somewhat random topics

It's been forever and I have had so many random thoughts swirling I'll try to get some of them out. 

Why am I writing right now?  Yes, you guessed it because I am hurt AGAIN and unable to do the things I enjoy doing.  Being sedentary and me don't jive.  I write and think way too much.  As some of you know I'm preparing for Xterra worlds in Maui.  For a while I've been swimming, biking and running pain free.  It's been so enjoyable.  I woke up yesterday after a long weekend of work, had some coffee and some puppy snuggles and was going to go for a nice mountain run.  I mean the mountains were calling to me.  Bring blue skies, beautiful fall colors...breathtaking.  I was putting on my running tights, as it's getting a little cool out.  I got them to my knees and stood up for some reason and my back just grabbed.  Right in my lower back like a burning pulse.  It took me to my knees and then to my back (yes, pants 1/2 way down).  I'm grimacing in pain and the dogs proceed to lick me in the face.  For a second being the positive thinker I am (or in denial) I think ok, maybe this is no biggie I can still run.  I struggle to put my pants on while on the floor and barely make it to crawl into the bed in a fetal position.  Ugh, reality set in.  So thankful for my amazing friend who is my physical therapist.  I already had an appointment the next day, but I called her and she told me what to do in the mean time.  I also texted my coach a bunch of f-bombs (thanks beaker for listening) in frustration.  They both made me feel as good as I could at that moment.  So, that's where I am right now.  Stuck trying to walk and do things to get back to normal.  So it means a lot of sitting time for me.  I don't like it but it does allow me to get some things done that I don't normally take the time to do.

My most recent trip was AANA Annual congress in Seattle.  For those that don't know it's the American Association of Nurse Anesthetists.  I was really looking forward to this not only because it's a great meeting, but I get to see some old friends and my best friend from Texas Carol was also going to meet me there.  The best thing was being with Carol and getting to hang out and visit.  She's really like a sister to me and I so enjoy her company.  On a few evenings we were beat from conference and walking around the city so we just ordered room service and sat in bed and watched TV and talked.  It may sound lame to some, but it was really awesome.  So the conference and spending time with a good friend were the good part.  There was a down side though.  Maybe I've just gotten so used to the glory of Alaska and I don't like looking up and only being able to see big buildings.  I like walking into the woods I guess.  This time Seattle was quite depressing in a way.  You walk around and are passing by, standing next to and seeing hundreds if not thousands of people.  Almost everyone has a head set in their ears and is on their phone.  There is almost no social interaction.  I am by far not a social person with those I don't know, but I did just decide to talk to a few people.  I must say everyone I did engage was very friendly.  It's like they were pleasantly surprised that someone spoke to them.  Why don't we talk to people anymore?  It was sad to see how many drug addicted and mentally ill were roaming the streets.  Don't judge....I've been in healthcare long enough I know addicts and the mentally Ill when I see them.  It's sad.  Carol and I talked about it and as much as we enjoyed visiting with each other we were both ready to get back home and out of the city.

Another thing I really got caught up in working on is anesthesia advocacy for the people of Alaska.  I think since I became a CRNA I've been passionate about informing the public of the truth.  I've been to Juneau here in Alaska and to Washington D. C. on a few occasions to educate our congress and senators on things happening in our state and nation.  If the American people knew the fraud that is perpertrated on them because of anesthesia it would make them sick I think we Americans are getting wiser though.  We are not blindly believing what people say simply because they are doctors.  It simply amazes me how many facts by proclimation physicians and physician groups can make and I have actual facts and research and have to constantly defend my great and noble profession.  If anyone wants to know more about this please feel free to contact me and I'll educate you!

Last thing for today!  I am so sick of this culture of the fake, phony and entitled!  Let's start with the entitled.  So sick of everyone thinking they should just be given everything.  Our society has somehow created people who think they don't have to EARN anything.  We've all grown up right?  Do you all not remember being bullied, being discriminated against for one reason or another?  I do!  I was bullied my whole childhood because I was a tomboy.  I was good at sports, better then most of the boys and that was just not cool when I was growing up.  Now it's cool to be a chick in sports!  I think that's great and I'd like to think people like me who persevered paved the way to the future.  Kids are bullied for all sorts of reasons now a days and I truly think the difference between then and now is parents.  My parents were always there to talk to me about what was going on and to support me and say that I was special and that kids were just mean.  It's true!  Kids are just mean and adults too for that matter.  We all know those people.  The miserable people who aren't happy until you are as miserable as they are.  If you don't recognize and have to deal with bullies as a child how are you supposed to deal with them as an adult?  Parents need to be there to guide children though these things.  Some parents now are so concerned with themselves and their image that they don't take time for all this with their kids.  Let's face it...you don't really need to make all this money and have all this stuff.  It's all about trying to portray this image instead of raising your kids to be good people...or just being a good person yourself.  You don't need a certain car, or house, or clothes for the most part.  Live within what you can afford and you're a lot less stressed and happier.  Why are you trying to keep up an image for others?  Figure out who you are and be just that!  We all find this at different times and some never do.  Those are the folks that are always trying to please others to be liked instead of being true to themselves.  My friend reminded me especially for those that consider themselves Christians, Romans 12:2.  Be not conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind.....  BE NOT CONFORMED TO THIS WORLD!!!!!  For those that are Christians and are working to try to impress others or have x or y...really?  Hypocrites!   This is why non Christians hate us and don't want to even listen to the message of Christ because they see this and don't want any part of this.  Plus all those people you are trying to impress...not real friends!  I have only a few real friends in this world and they know I would do anything for them and I know they'd do anything for me.  That's friendship.  Whether you have fancy clothes or parties or you are living in a trailer...those are real friends.
For the love of sweet baby Jesus quit telling your kids all the reasons they are not succeeding like racism, sexism, etc.  They'll get enough of this if it is reality.  You don't need to plant these things in their heads from the beginning so they turn into little ass hats that think the whole world is against them for the color of their skin, their sex, sexual orientation, etc.  You are only giving them a reason to hate others.  For the most part if you don't act like a freak or entitled little shit people are pretty fair.  Does racism, discrimination and all these other things exist? Of course!  They always will and no matter what we do there will always be people who hate people just because.  I grew up and heard some very racist things as a child.  As I grew into an adult I decided to think for myself!  I now cherish having friends and family members of all races, religions, sexual orientations and those who just plain believe differently than me.  It makes me think.  If there is anything I can encourage people to do it's question your beliefs.  Question everything.  I truly believe this questioning will lead you to realizing that you have to have faith to a certain amount or you'll believe in nothing.  That's a whole different conversation though. 

I believe that is enough for tonight.  End of thoughts. Sorry no pictures.  Only thoughts this time!
Still need to do something on Xterra Canmore...maybe this week.

Xterra Hammerman Triathlon 2017

I LOVE this race!  Ever since moving to Alaska I try to do this race every year.  I've done many races throughout the years and this is my favorite.  The Alaska Triathlon Club and Andy Duenow put on a spectacular event.  It's a great course and a low key fun day!  So many races are just too full with race directors trying to make as much money as possible.  If I never do another one of those I'll be happy.  There should be more races like this.

For those of you that don't know the race is an 800m swim in little campbell lake, a 13 or so mile trail ride on fun single tracks for the bike and the run is a challenging hilly course of about 4 miles. 

Before I get to the pictures I just want to share a few things about racing in general.  Here's a short list of my thoughts.

1.  Don't be a snob!  Don't judge people by their bike, clothes, size, skin color, sex, etc.  They may just whip your ass!  Triathlon is all inclusive and one of the things that separates it from other sports.  There are plenty of snob sports, let's not turn this one into another one.

2.  Thank the volunteers!  Volunteers are what makes these races go.  You're not so awesome or racing so hard that when you pass a water station you don't have time to say "thanks for volunteering". 

3.  Be a volunteer!  After you volunteer you learn to thank the volunteers.  These people give up their time so they can help you be able to do a race.  If we all volunteered for just one race a year that would be great.

4.  Be nice!  Triathlon is a very encouraging sport.  When you pass someone say "good job".  It's just part of it.  Encourage people it makes you and them feel good.

Ok that's my short list.  Triathlon and off-road triathlon is a great sport.  Tri it! :)

Here are some hammerman pictures for your enjoyment.

Me showing Todds place in the family competition

Todd coming in strong on the run

Exiting the water

Transition 2

Todd coming out of the water

Todd coming off the bike to T2

All smiles before the swim

Me and My coach pre race

Pre Race shenanigans

Ragnar Relay Northwest Passage

It's 6am and I'm awake for some reason.  I'll try to put it to good use.  This past week I participated in the Ragnar Relay Northwest passage.  Along the way I learned a lot of things good and bad, met some wonderful people and definitely had an experience.  Interesting week to say the least!

Thursday morning began much earlier for me than usual.  Got to the airport around 330 in the morning with 3 of my Alaskan Friends.  We parked our cars where the plane is usually tied down as it's a free spot close to the terminal.  (This parking will come back to the story later!)  We caught our flight without incident and landed in Seattle to meet 8 ladies from Texas who made up the rest of our relay team.  I guess I should explain what we were doing...

This particular Ragnar Relay was a 200 (ish) mile, 12 person relay to be completely continuously from the Friday morning at 6am till 8pm Saturday.  Each lady ran 3 legs. Truly beautiful area and scenery.

I got roped into this by a good friend who is still in Austin.  We decided that we've known each other almost 20 years. It was nice to see her even though we weren't in the same van. (We had 2 vans of 6 ladies each).  I normally don't really like group activities.  I spent the majority of my life in both high school and college in vans and hotel rooms with a bunch of girls in softball and volleyball.  You just get over it to say the least.  As I've gotten older, as we all do I guess, I've gotten to know myself better.  I'm pretty introverted in my personality and I really enjoy my space and alone time.  That doesn't mean I can't be social, but when given the choice I will usually choose to go out alone and find myself lost in nature.

My friend and I are similar in that way so we split a hotel room just between the 2 of us so we could spread out and really get some rest.  I'm so glad we did.  It was just nice.  Got there Thursday night and went to bed.  My friend being in Van 1 had to go really early to the start and I got to sleep in a bit.  I appreciated that being a night shift person.  I'm not used to being up so early.  Our van got going around noon.  My first let felt good!  It was around 6 and 1/2 miles.  It was somewhat down hill  so that was nice.  IT was hot though.  Who would have thought this girl from that south would think 70 degrees was hot.  I swear it had to be warmer though.  The heat was quite a struggle for a few people, one needing IV fluids at the Emergency room.  Here was my experience.  After my first leg I felt great.  I was able to go back to the hotel and shower and sleep a couple hours which was nice.  When i was going to sleep though I had a slight headache and noticed that my HR was a little elevated.  Thought nothing of it.  I only began to feel worse.  I thought it was going to just get better.  I ended up becoming nauseated and unable to take anything in I also had diarrhea quite often.  My next leg was only a little over 2 miles and it was at like 4am so it was nice and cool.  I did that leg very slowly and with little energy.  Felt like throwing up a few times.   During this time another friend was in the ER.  She felt much better after her fluids and I am so glad that she got some extra anti nausea meds.  She gave me one and that helped me turn the corner.  I still felt shitty, but started forcing fluids on myself.  Over the next 6 hours or so I forced down fluids, electrolytes, and a little bit of food.  Someone in my van offered to take my next leg which was 7 miles.  I knew I didn't have the energy for it so I agreed.  I actually took her last leg which at that point I thought I could gut out the 3.8 miles that she had to do.  Once again I felt energy zapped and it was very slow, but dang it I gutted it out and got it done.

Let's back up to Thursday again.  On the way to the hotel and packet pick up I got a phone call from an unknown number.  I didn't answer, but the voicemail said it was a cop and that my jeep had been stolen.  I totally thought it was a hoax so I called the police station main number.  Sure enough my jeep had been stolen from where I parked it at the airport and found in someones yard here in Anchorage.  I was totally in shock, but what could I do.  It was gone, recovered and my husband and a friend were able to go and get it and get it to our house to begin repairs.  It wasn't that bad and it is only a vehicle, but it's still very violating and annoying.  You have to spend money that you wouldn't otherwise have to.  I just don't understand why people need to take and touch things that don't belong to them.  Jerks!

Ok, back to the timeline!  After the race we all finished together with our last runner coming in.  Took team pictures and there was beer and pizza at the finish.  We were exhausted and ready to get to our hotels to sleep.  Once again, I got my own room and so enjoyed that!  I checked in, hopped in the shower then got in my comfy fluffy bed and ordered room service.  I had a great bowl of crab chowder and an entire of water!  It was about 1030 when I finished all this and totally crashed out!  I would have loved to sleep in the next day, but when flying standby you get there when the flight is the most open.  I got up around 5 or so for an 8 am flight.  Couldn't sleep on the plane, but crawled right into bed with the puppies when I got home.  Would have been great to see Todd, but as I was flying away from Seattle, he was heading there for work.  So we waved at each other in the air.

The best thing. about this race was the people I met.  Everyone has a life story and a reason for doing these type of things.  I've been doing some sort of sport my whole life so nothing new to me.  It was really interesting to get to chat with some of the ladies.  We're all fighting different battles.  Don't judge...you never know what someone is going through.  You know obesity is such an epidemic in our society.  It's always been so inspiring to be to see folk that are really big out there doing it! Had a really good chat with one girl and I must say I'm so inspired and proud of her.  Losing weight and changing your lifestyle isn't easy.  I'm probably bigger than I've ever been but not obese.  I feel uncomfortable already and I can't imagine what some of these ladies and men have to go through to do these things.  It takes real courage to put yourself out there with a bunch of fit people.   I can't say that I'd have the courage that these people have.  Good on you!  Keep on keeping on.  You're an inspiration to many.

Overall Race:

Overall I would say I'm glad I did this.  I spent most of my high school and college life in a van or bus with a bunch of stinky athletes so I can say I wasn't particularly looking forward to that aspect.  Maybe it's because of that experience that I've gotten to where I really enjoy my alone time.  It wasn't as bad as I thought it was going to be.  I did enjoy my own hotel room though.  Just a few minutes of that alone time was enough to recharge me.  Know thyself I guess.
The race was too long though for me.  I think something 24 hours or less would be better for me.  I can't say that I'll do another of these races, but I'm open to trying other new things still.

I wish I had more pictures to share.  Thanks for reading.

Observations after a loss

My good friend in Texas just became a widow.  Her husband Bryon was only 40 years old.  Here are my thoughts on this whole experience. 

I met Carol when I worked as a CRNA in Georgetown, Texas.  Although Carol and I don't share all my as she calls "crazy" adventures (speaking of running, triathlon, etc) we bonded almost instantly.  In a world where you can't trust people and even so-called "friends" are dishonest, will stab you in the back or throw you under the bus to save themselves or make themselves look better Carol and I became fast friends and knew that we'd have each others backs no matter what.  Although I moved from Texas over 5 years ago now we've always stayed  in touch. 

I was only in the same town as Carol and Bryon for a few years we had some good times.  Bryon was 6'5" tall, long arms, long legs.  He was sooo funny!  He always had a smile on his face and made you feel welcome.  I put a link to his Obituary so you can read it.  It will give you a sense of the guy he was. 

I feel lucky that I just happened to have vacation scheduled at this time to be able to spend with Carol.  As soon as I could I was on a flight here.  I made so many observations about people these last few days.  First of all, the funeral home was great!  It was a comfortable place where when you walked in you felt you were at someones home.  Never been to a funeral home like that!  The staff were really great and took care of everything we asked for.  The pastor who did not know Bryon or the family was amazing.  I was very impressed at his compassion and professionalism.  Thank you Pastor Ellis.

Sadly, one thing I learned is family doesn't always act like family. I'll leave out specifics here because I'm a little angry and may say some things I'd regret.  Adults and kids....if you have crappy parents it's not your fault!  Some people are just shitty and unfortunately they sometimes breed.  Some people are just selfish and will never be able to see past themselves and their own needs.  It's very unfortunate.  I think the important thing for all of us to learn from people like that is that you don't want to be that way.  We ALL have people like this in our families or lives somewhere.  Just because you were brought up that way doesn't mean you have to continue the behavior.  Your perspective is everything.  I recently read something that said there were 2 sons and their father was an alcoholic.  One became and alcoholic and said he was like that because he watched his father.  The other became successful and not an alcoholic and he said he did this because he watched his father.  Perspective is everything!  Don't continue negative trends.

The other thing that was driven home to me is the difference between the funeral of a Christian and a non Christian.  I have seen many people die in my career and been to some funerals in my time.  In my experience there is a distinct difference between funerals/deaths involving someone who is a believer in Christ and someone who is not.  While both are sad times because friends and family are losing a loved one, those that are Christians can also celebrate in the hope that they will one day be reunited with their loved one.  I noticed this is the way the dying patients acted too when I worked in ICU.  Not ALL, but most of the Christians that were dying and aware they were were just more at ease and seemed less anxious that those who who were not "saved".  For those of you not familiar someone who is "saved" is someone who believes in and has accepted Jesus Christ as their savior.  I think those of us who have live with a different purpose.  In my personal opinion I think we just have a comfort and a more eternal purpose and peace.  Just my opinion.

I have been to funerals for non-believers as well.  I must say it was one of the saddest and most heart breaking things I've been to.  There was ONLY sadness.  There was such a finality to it.  This was it!  Friends Spouses and children had lost their loved one and that was it.  No hope of being reunited or them being in the glory of our creator. 

Why have I chosen to write about this?  It has come to me several times before, but I felt compelled finally to put it down.  I completely understand people who have issues with the church, any church.  Name your religion!  I get angry thinking what we have done as humans to distort God and Jesus so that it fits our needs.  Who decided which writings went into the bible that we currently use??? MAN!  I do believe there is a lot of good in there, but who knows how it's been altered.  I think that you just have to have a personal relationship with Jesus and let him guide your actions.  I try to do this in my dealings with things and people.  Do I make mistakes? Often.  Do I do things that some Christians view as sin? Sure.  I just try to love people where they are.  We all sin and fall short of the glory of God right?  Who am I as a sinner to judge others? Do I judge others?  Sometimes for sure.  Human nature is human nature and I think we all have to just do the honest best that we can with eternity in mind. 

This whole thing may be a little deep for some of you.  I do hope that it makes you think.  I'm very science based, but I also do have faith.  I think it makes for a good balance and that you can have both in your life.  I think if we had more of a combination that our world would be a better place.  I do not believe that intelligence and faith have to be independent of each other.  I say question your life, religion, teachers, bosses, etc.  If your religion does not allow for questions then you're in the wrong one! Examples are Islam, Scientology, and Mormonism

To those that say religion is a waste of time...If you are right and all we have is this short time on earth then I've tried to live a good life and impact people in a positive way for nothing, I'm worm food.  If Christians are right then the non-believer has lost everything.  Eternity is a pretty long time.  Just my opinion though.  I have been to too many places and witnessed too many miracles of nature to believe that all the beauty of our earth just sprouted with no help and that the complication of the human body is evolved from some simple being. 

For those of you that question look things up.  You don't have to be a church member for salvation.  God is so much bigger than that.  All you have to do is ask.  You don't need someone to mediate between you and your savior.   Simply ask for Christ to come into your life and forgive you for your sins...pretty simple huh?  Look up the salvation prayer.  To those of you that think your particular religion is the "only" right way..wake up!  You can't put the creator of the universe in a man-made box!  My usual reply to those folks are you know Jesus wasn't Catholic, Baptist, Lutheran, etc. 

Alright, all that was just on my mind.  Hope I made some folks at least think.  If not about eternity, about your affairs.  Are they in order?  Do you have a will and a living will?  Most importantly does your family know what you want?  I know for one that I need to get a few things in line. 

I have here the link to Bryon's Obituary.  My friend Carol wrote it herself.  It's really great and I hope that you will give it a read.  He was a young guy full of life who fought a tough battle till the end.  While those of us who he left behind hate to be here without him, we can rejoice in knowing that we will get to hang out with him again one day.  After everything else I wrote above, now you'll know what that means. :)

RIP Bryon Williams


Obituary